Comments on: [Guest Post] Shut Up Juliet: Why This Rose Is Thinking of Keeping Her Name

By: Miranda

Miranda — Wed, 02 May 2012 10:57:59 +0000

My mum’s mentioned to me before that she reckons I should keep mine, though she didn’t keep her own – it just wasn’t the done thing where she was living and at the time.

By: Hilary Leighter

Hilary Leighter — Wed, 02 May 2012 10:52:20 +0000

Certainly every person is entitled to make their own decision on this, but when I got married 5 years ago I explained politely to my husband that a name change was not going to happen.

I am with Lizzie on this – everyone knows me, and if I added on my husband’s surname Rodwell, they would really start calling me Hillary Rodwell Clinton (if they don’t already as a joke! – no I know her name is Rodham).

Actually my Mother is the only person upset about this, I don’t know why. Perhaps she really did not wish to give up her own name, and is jealous that I can?

By: Lizzie B

Lizzie B — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 12:19:02 +0000

In reply to Beth. Yup, this was the original plan - although his family would go nuts about him chnaging his name and it might get a bit confusing for the invitations. There is so much family pride and tribalism associated with last names that I never appreciated until I got engaged. It's all got a bit weird.

By: Lizzie B

Lizzie B — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 12:17:47 +0000

In reply to Althera.

That’s pretty much where we are now. Except I’ve started thinking that if I keep my name, I’ll be Mrs B – and my mum is Mrs B and so is my step-mom. Whereas there isn’t a Mrs P because his mum passed away.

Then I go back to bein lazy and indignant!

By: Lizzie B

Lizzie B — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 12:16:32 +0000

In reply to Becky Shepherd. I'm so glad you thought it was funny :)

By: Althera

Althera — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 18:42:42 +0000

My partner and I decided that if we were going to change our names, that we’d pick a new name and move to for both.

But as we drag our butts about planning the wedding we’re equally thinking that we’ll just keep our names. I have professional ties to my name now and his family would go crazy.

By: Becky Shepherd

Becky Shepherd — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 13:24:27 +0000

My surname is my identity, people use it more than my first name and it’s the basis of my nickname; Shep. I don’t know if it comes from being a tomboy or years of playing sport/being a cadet as a kid but it’s what I’ve always been referred to. I’d feel robbed if I didn’t have that clear sense of who I’d been born to be.

Plus I think if I changed my name my friends would continue to call me Shepherd/Shep anyway!

Very funny – really enjoyed this!

By: Bacon

Bacon — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 10:04:51 +0000

I don’t think you should Hyphenate, ‘cos I’ve never met a single hyphenated name that didn’t sound a bit silly (sorry hyphenated people!). I changed my name when I married solely because my old name was hilarious, and I wanted a regular boring surname that didn’t make people smirk when you had to spell it over the phone. However, I now miss my hilarious old name, and I think it might be worth braving the opposition and hanging onto your own name just so you don’t regret losing a little part of yourself.

By: wererogue

wererogue — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 21:24:19 +0000

I really like that my whole (nuclear) family has the same name – I think that it will help to bolster our kids’ sense of identity, and it makes it clear to me every moment with whom my priorities lie. It also often makes filling in paperwork easier (although not in Quebec).

But I took my wife’s name, since I could think of a half-dozen reasons why she’d want to keep hers, and a scant one why I’d want to keep mine. We didn’t want to hyphenate (don’t like how it sounds, can spiral out of control after a few generations), and all in all it was an easy decision.

It wasn’t expensive or difficult. I made the deed poll myself with instructions (from http://www.gorge.org/experiences/deedpoll.shtml ). I had to pay for a new passport, but pretty much everything else was free, and most didn’t even need to see my documents.

By: Cluisanna

Cluisanna — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 15:46:48 +0000

My parents aren’t married (but together more than 20 years) and don’t have the same name, and I got my mother’s name. I don’t want to give it up and I’m pretty sure I am not going to. My father was often called Mr. [my mother’s surname], because people thought my name had to be the name of the family. Irony, I guess.
Also, I think this is again one of those signs that equality is far from achieved. If husband and wife keep their original surnames, this is seen as unequal in favor of the wife – although it is as neutral as possible.